The Bigly Illustrated Encyclopædia of Trumpworld
Editor’s Note: All information verified by “many people,” all of them very smart, the best people, maybe the smartest ever.
🌍 Continents & Regions
Biglyland — The largest continent in the history of the planet, possibly the universe. Its cities rise on gold-plated stilts, and every building boasts that it’s taller than the last one (often by just one golden brick). Maps must be printed in landscape orientation to fit it, and sometimes even then it doesn’t all fit — “because it’s so big, everyone says so.”
Covfefestan — Permanently cloaked in typo mist, this region’s national motto is “???”. Scholars debate whether it’s a country, a mood, or an accidental tweet that became self-aware. Its national sport is confidently finishing other people’s sentences.
Hamberderia — Known for its fast-food palaces and golden cheeseburger orchards. Here, ketchup flows from fountains and fries rain gently each afternoon. The currency is the “Value Meal.”
Very Stable Peninsula — A jutting, rock-solid landmass where the inhabitants begin every conversation by announcing how stable and genius they are. Earthquakes refuse to occur here out of respect.
Fake News Archipelago — A collection of elusive islands that disappear the moment you fact-check them. Populated entirely by talking televisions that argue with each other about ratings.
The Wall Mountains — A towering cliff encircling the map’s edge. Local lore says “Mexico paid for it,” though Mexico has yet to comment. Climbing is discouraged because the wall claims it already climbed you first.
Sharpie Bay — Weather forecasts are legally required to be drawn by permanent marker. Hurricanes change path to spell compliments like “TERRIFIC” across the sea.
Mar-A-Lagoon — A gleaming tropical resort-nation where entrance is granted only after flattering the customs officer. Its economy runs on compliments and decorative chandeliers.
Trump Tower Tropics — Every palm tree has been replaced by a golden skyscraper with coconuts wearing little red ties. Elevators play campaign jingles.
🏙️ Notable Cities
Truth Optional City — Capital of Biglyland. All laws begin with “People are saying…” and end with applause. Reality is considered “flexible zoning.”
Yuge City — Claimed population: “millions, maybe billions.” Actual census: 17 residents and a parrot that says “tremendous.”
Tremendous Falls — A colossal waterfall that produces applause instead of water. The mist smells faintly of hair spray and victory.
Winnerstan — Here, losing is a criminal offense. Even the coin toss always lands on “Win.” (The other side says “Even More Win.”)
🌋 Geographical Oddities
The Alternative Fact Faultline — Reality tectonics shift hourly. Yesterday the mountain was a molehill; today it’s a luxury resort.
Mount Ego — Self-proclaimed tallest mountain in the world, despite being only 11 feet high. It casts a shadow the size of a continent (at least according to itself).
Golf Course Desert — Endless dunes of sand traps with the occasional lonely green. Home to the rare and endangered “two-putt.”
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